You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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