i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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