Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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