So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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