I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
