In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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