I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
