Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You pole danced in your parka.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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