it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
