I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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