Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize