i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
