After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she pinky promised me she was 18
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
