the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
