And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
