Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
