I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dear god my vagina.
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