Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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