Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
