I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
