It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
