I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
