i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
