Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Its about making memories worth repressing
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
