how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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