i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
