At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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