He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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