my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
