Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize