as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
