I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
