I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
