grandma shit on top of the toilet
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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