Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
