I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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