i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
