y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
