This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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