honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
