be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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