Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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