youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
