i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
