so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
