Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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