please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
