how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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