just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
