i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
