addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
