Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
