When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
