dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
