I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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