God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
