You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
