I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize