so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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