dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
